Last year, the bride of Stone Cold denied our daughter a second helping of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Our daughter flipped out. The raging protest ended with my daughter s screaming “Mommy, gimme some cereal!!!” as if she were a crack addict begging for a fix (ironically, if you’ve ever had Cinnamon Toast Crunch, you know this isn’t far from the truth).
The difference between my wife and I is that she allowed our daughter to live after that exchange. If our daughter hits the nuclear option on one of her tantrums, I usually walk away keep her from wearing cinder block shoes at the bottom of the ocean. That’s all I have to say about that.
1) Not knowing what shoes to wear
2) Riding a bike
3) Indecision at snack time
4) Not being able to decide whether to take a bath or shower.
5) Being asked to hug a family member.
6) Not getting enough toothpaste on her toothbrush
7) Upon receiving a buttered cob of corn when she didn’t want butter even though she almost always wants butter.
8) When mommy runs a race without her.
9) Getting the wrong color of roses*
10) Walking on the sidewalk opposite the sidewalk she prefers.
11) Being asked to walk a distance equal to the steps between home plate and second base.
12) Being asked to write her name on thank you notes.
13) Unfavorable weather forecasts.
14) Her shoe falling off.
15) Stirring her yogurt when she didn’t want it stirred……and vice versa.
* – who complains about getting fucking flowers?!